A Single Person’s Guide To Valentine’s Day

 

Happy February 14^th, the day that has so much love in the air, it’s actually suffocating. Coming from a person who has a lot of experience being single on this holiday, I know a thing or two about making the best of it.

 

1. Music helps. If there’s someone you’d like to be spending Valentine’s Day with but can’t because he’s a moron that doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have you in his life, just listen to Justin Bieber’s Love Yourself until your ears bleed. This is a day about love after all! (Also they suck and you shouldn’t even be thinking about them.)
2. Indulge. I don’t know if you live in LA, but if you do, GUESS WHAT! There’s a bakery here called Cake Monkey that has individually sized cakes. Yes, a tiny cake, perfectly sized for one. So go treat yourself to a little Cake Monkey cake, (or really any treat that you enjoy) and make your day a little bit sweeter. Or just eat a full sized cake and make it extra sweet.
3. Go out. I know this goes against most single people Valentine’s Day practices, but getting dressed up and going out with friends is a lot of fun. Find that little black dress, put on a red lip, and go have fun with people who make you smile. I think we forget that this Holiday is about love. ALL love. That doesn’t limit us to significant others, you can enjoy this holiday with anyone that makes you happy.
4. Practice self-love. You don’t need a dumb guy (or girl) to buy chocolate for, you can buy chocolate for yourself. Preferably the following day when it’s 75% off. This is something even I need to work on. I stress to my friends about the importance of self-love, but even I’m sometimes guilty of not practicing what I preach. I’m working on it.
5. A nice Prosecco doesn’t hurt. I don’t drink very much, but on Valentine’s day I like to treat myself to some sparkling wine.
6. DON’T stalk your ex. The last thing you want to do today is look up pics of your ex and his new girlfriend. I’m serious. Don’t you dare peak at his Instagram or check on his FB status, (HA JK who even updates their FB status anymore). Just pretend he doesn’t exist. At least for today.
7. Go see a film. If my Valentine (Shoutout to Katy) didn’t hate movies, I’d probably be seeing How To Be Single today. BUT just because my best friend is the Grinch of cinema, doesn’t mean yours is. However, I don’t know who you’re hanging out with today, maybe they hate movies too. And if that’s the case, perhaps we should introduce our movie-hating friends.
8. Ball is in your court. Holidays are what you make them out to be, so make today a positive experience. If you decide that Valentine’s Day is a negative, annoying, commercialized, gross love fest; that’s what it will be. BUT if you just spend the day doing something fun with someone you love (this could even mean yourself), then it will be a great day. I promise.

 

I hope you enjoyed my tips and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

15 Things I learned in 2015

 

 

• There is such a thing as too much Subway. It’s no secret that I’m not the biggest fan of the kitchen. So, as a cheap alternative to “cooking” and “living a healthy lifestyle”, I started hitting up my local Subway a couple times a week. Okay, more like 4 times a week. OKAY FINE, like five. It got real bad, okay? The point is, it’s not good for you and one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to stop eating Subway. Maybe not completely, but I want to be able to say “Wow, I haven’t had Subway in months!” and actually mean it.

• Make sure to check the vehicle you’re getting into before you sit down in the back seat and close the door. Recently I got into the wrong car and didn’t notice until I had already moved over a bunch of their stuff to make room for myself, made a “your car is a mess” comment, and shut myself in. Actually, it wasn’t until I heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Do you know her? Is this supposed to be happening right now?”, that I realized my friends were actually in the next car over. The car I had gotten into had a guy and girl in it that were on a date that I possibly may have ruined. So if you’re reading this, I’m sorry!

• Sometimes you have to let people go. Seriously. Go to your basement, untie them from that chair, and let them go free. You know what they say, “If you love something let it go. If they are smart enough to know how absolutely spectacular and amazing you are, they’ll come back; if they don’t, they’re probably an idiot and still collect Beanie Babies in their mom’s basement.”

• Take care of yourself. This one sounds silly, but it was something I was terrible at. If you’re sick, take medicine. If you’re having a health scare, go to the doctor. If something in your life is toxic, remind yourself that this is not 2003, you are not Britney Spears, and you need to do what’s best for you.

• Do it. Now I’m not going to go all Shia Labeouf on you, but for real. Time is ticking. It will not get done on it’s own. So pause your Netflix, get off your couch, and get to it!

• Usually someone’s hostility towards you comes from a place of insecurity. So don’t let people make you feel inadequate just because they themselves feel the need to tear down others to build themselves up. Just be yourself and surround yourself with good people. Or cats.

• Cats eat hair ties. And when they do, they will not be able to digest it and will need very expensive surgery.

• Amazon Prime is a life changer! Especially for the holidays. You don’t even have to leave your apartment. And who loves staying in? Uh, Everyone! I swear this is not sponsored by Amazon Prime, but it should be because I love them and the feelings really should be mutual.

• If you fly with your cats, they will meow loudly the entire time and you will automatically be the “mother with the screaming baby” of that flight.

• In-shower lotion is magic and will make your skin feel silky smooth. (I use the NIVIA one)

• It’s never too late to say sorry. Take Justin Bieber for example, he was, like, two albums too late to say sorry but he did and now we’re all Beliebers again so I think that settles that argument.

• Adele can disappear for five years and come back on top like she never left.

• All we truly have in life are the relationships we have with others. So make time for loved ones and keep in touch with those who really matter to you, that way you always have someone to eat Domino’s with at 2 am.

• The song T-Shirt by Shontelle is so good and I don’t know why we ever stopped listening to it.

• And finally, my last lesson. It is going to be okay. No one has their life completely figured out in their 20’s. Set goals and work hard. It will all come together.

How To Be An Adult

I’ve been trying to come up with an incredibly clever Blog post for the past week now; that would not only earn your forgiveness for my absence, but also capture your attention and make you undoubtedly want to be my best friend. However, due to my elderly nature and love for board games, I think I’m stuck with having strictly feline pals for life. Today’s Blog will not be about me trying to make friends though, so don’t worry. (That topic may take an entire book.) Today, I want to talk about adulthood. I figure most of you reading this, are either adults or becoming one in the near future. So for you younger ones, let me just take away everything you were looking forward to.

ADULTHOOD 101

BILLS

Once you become an adult, you will no longer be looking forward to checking your mailbox. Mail is no longer ‘fun’. It’s no longer going to be grandma sending you a birthday card, it’s going to be Joe the car insurance guy demanding you send him $200 before September 22^nd.

CLEANING

It never ends. There is always cleaning to be done. Especially when you have cats that like to “destroy everything you love”.

SLEEPOVERS

Sleepovers stop being a “thing”. Remember when you became a teenager and sleepovers were all the rage? Well now Becky and Sarah have their own place and probably need to go home to their central air and responsibilities.

ROUTINE

If you don’t have a routine, you will most likely find yourself laying in bed with a bag of pita chips and binge watching ‘Friends’ all day, claiming that it’s research for your acting career.

FRIENDS

Speaking of ‘Friends’, meeting friends as an adult is much more difficult than it looks on the hit sitcom. You will not enjoy every person you encounter. However, if that person has cats, you should probably continue to talk to them, so you can have cat play dates, so your cat wont be the loner cat with no other cat friends. How many more times can I say cat?

DATING

It’s not like the movies. In fact, if you want to learn more about dating in 2015, you should download Tinder or watch MTV’s Catfish. It will help lower your standards and give you a clearer outlook on life.

BIRTHDAYS

Birthdays are now just a reminder that your life is slipping away. Why have a party? Instead, just have some wine and stalk yourself on Facebook, reminiscing about the days you thought you were going to be on Disney Channel and date Nick Jonas.

COOKING

There’s not going to be a day you wake up and realize you’re Rachael Ray. You will not be able to cook, unless you teach yourself. But since that’s a lot of work, you’ll probably master 1-3 dishes and eat that for the rest of your life.

HELP

You are now your own self-help book. Most of the time, you’re going to have to solve your own problems. However, if things get real tough, you can either call a family member, or refer to this extremely helpful Blog I’ve neglected for the past few months. Lucky for you, I’m back. And I’m sorry.

Enjoy adulthood,

Renee

How To Stay Positive

Tips On How To Stay Positive

1. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and encourage you to do whatever it is you’re passionate about.

2. Leave your apartment from time to time. It’s important to get outside. Go climb a mountain or something, I don’t care. Just get outside and “experience life” or whatever.

3. Remember that haters gonna hate hate hate. And if you forget that and feel like there’s something wrong with you, please refer to Taylor Swift’s 2014 hit, “Shake it Off”. Or just refer back to this post and let me remind you how wonderful you are.

4. Eat something yummy and healthy. Typically when I eat something yummy that isn’t healthy, I feel sick afterwards, because Oh I don’t know, maybe the 3^rd ice cream sandwich wasn’t the best idea. Instead, try some raspberries. There’s something about enjoying healthy food that makes me feel really good. Like I’m proud of it or something. Maybe that’s an embarrassing fact to put on my blog. Whatever, now you know. I’m proud of myself when I eat healthy, okay?

5. Watch the TV show Pretty Little Liars and remind yourself that you don’t have a stalker who tries to put you in prison all the time. #Blessed

6. Get some friends together, drink coffee, and chat. Because there’s nothing better than coffee. I mean friends.

7. Call a family member. Still to this day, when I’m sad or feeling negative and overwhelmed, I will call my mom. Because moms know everything. So mom, thank you for being my very own personal therapeutic version of Google.

8. I mean, I know I always say this but seriously guys. Just get a cat. They help with everything. What would my blog be without cats? LipstickLA? What? That just sounds like something’s missing. Just like the cat that’s missing from your life.

9. Do something that makes you happy. For me that means writing or talking to a camera or paying hide and seek with my cats. Your thing may be different than what I listed, (but I don’t know what’s better than playing childhood games with your pets)…but I mean, you know what makes you happy. So do it.

10. Remember that things will get better. I know sometimes that’s hard to believe. But it’s true. We all go through hard times. Even Beyonce! I think. Maybe not, but that’s because she’s Beyonce. So just be more Yonce, stay strong, and remember that Jurassic World comes out this summer.

Dating Dilemmas: Why Dating Sucks

1. The first date. Who on earth actually enjoys a first date? They are the worst. You have to make conversation with a person who you may have nothing in common with and if you realize that there is nothing to talk about within five minutes, you still have to stay for at least an hour to be polite. Not to mention, no one knows how to eat on a first date. Usually the girls order a salad. And I mean come on. Did we want the salad? No. We probably wanted the pesto chicken Panini, but knew damn well it would just mess up our makeup and probably ruin the chances of a second date we might not even want.

2. Speaking of food, food costs money. And let’s be honest, typically in the beginning of the dating period, it’s assumed that the guy will pay. But we are never 100% on that. And is it wrong to just assume? Probably. So because of this, we don’t want to get anything too expensive, but we don’t want to get the cheapest item on the menu either. So what’s a food item that I can look cute eating, that’s not too expensive or too cheap, and will also keep my makeup intact? I don’t know, I guess I’ll just order a chicken Caesar salad.

3. How do you even meet people nowadays? No one expects to find someone out and about anymore. Everyone relies on the Internet. Even if it’s your friend trying to introduce you to her boyfriend’s best friend; I guarantee before you even agree to going on a date with this guy, you will thoroughly stalk his Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And with these social media pages, we nit pick at everything. “I think he takes too many selfies”, “Why is that his profile picture?”, “He tweets more than I do.” This makes us even pickier.

4. The problem with dating sites is simple. Not everyone in the world is on them! So, it makes me wonder. What types of people actually sign up for these sites? I’m sure a lot of them are girls just trying something new to meet people, which is great. Now let’s think about what types of guys on there. There are probably going to be a lot of creeps. What teeny tiny percentage of these guys are a decent, dark and handsome, over-six-feet, actually funny, kind-to-my-parents, loves-cats kind of guy? I’m not even sure if that kind of guy would sign up for this site. He’s probably out there, feeding some other Persian Blogger’s cat.

5. Also, because of all this technology, we forget how to even talk to people in person. Tell me this. If you’re in an awkward social situation with nobody you know, what are you most likely to do? A: Make conversation with a stranger, or B: Scroll through Instagram and pretend to be preoccupied. Most of the time, it’s B. We’re most comfortable behind a screen and that is not a healthy social life.

6. Is it even considered dating anymore? Okay. So here’s the one advantage you have when you’re online dating. You know for a fact that it’s a date. Everyone just hangs out nowadays. What do you mean by hang out? Are you expecting more, meanwhile I’m thinking it’s two friends getting coffee? Is this going to be an incredibly awkward situation? Do we both consider this a date? I’m a girl and I’ve most likely over thought every single possibility, several times.

7. Until you meet a decent person to be with, you have to go through a ton of jerks. There are so many of them. The ‘mean guy’, who makes you feel bad about yourself most of the time, yet you stay with him because on the rare occasion, he does make you feel sort of special; The ‘flake’, who always blows you off but keeps you dangling just close enough so you come back for more; The ‘player’ who flirts with absolutely everyone; and so many more. And it’s not like these guys are wearing signs that warn you ahead of time. You have to look for the red flags. And don’t settle. Find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and makes you happy. Actually happy.

8. It’s easy to come off the wrong way when you’re dating, because you’re just getting to know the person and sometimes you say the wrong things. You may be nervous or just having a bad day, which may make you seem a little standoffish. And on an ordinary day with people who know you already, this is fine. But on a date, they will assume that’s just how you are. They don’t know your quirks and if you say one thing, they may take it different way. There’s a lot of stepping on eggshells.

9. Then there’s the games. You know, waiting a few days on purpose before texting to follow up, playing a little hard to get, if they wait an hour to respond to you, then you wait an hour to respond back to them, and of course the whole ‘trying not to look too eager if you actually like them’ thing. That whole sha-bang.

10. Lastly, if you went on a date or two and have decided that this person is just not for you, how do you handle it? Are you going to be honest with them? Just ignore every text and call? Do you keep taking rain checks that you have no intention following through with? Or are you so bad at this that you end up just seeing them over and over again just to be nice? I’m sure everyone has a different method. Basically what I am getting at, is dating is hard and until you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, it’s going to suck.

If you have any dating dilemmas you’d like me to chat about, let me know! Either comment or message me.

Hope you’re all having a wonderful week!

Renee

Hello 2015

Hello 2015

It’s that time of year again. The time when we’re more motivated than ever to better our lives and take the steps we need to, to become the person we strive to be, but forget about. And of course, it’s also the time of year we all talk ourselves into getting a gym membership we don’t use nearly as much as we should. I think the main reason a lot of us end up falling through with our resolutions is because we all get stuck in ruts. We are creatures of habit and once we get into a routine, it’s over. We forget about what we truly want. Don’t let this happen or else you will wake up one morning and realize you’re 75 and all you have in life are your 45 cats and a bad caffeine addiction you can’t seem to shake. So take the steps you have to take to make your life something to be proud of. Something you’re proud of. Here are 15 tips on how to do that. (Because it’s 2015 and I’m fun like that. Okay. Onward.)

1.

Give yourself a fresh look. It doesn’t have to be drastic. For instance, whenever I say I got a “fresh look”, I really just mean I cut off an inch of my hair and re-layered it. So I now have a hair cut that no one will notice but me, but will still get incredibly offended if no one says anything about it when clearly my hair used to be an inch longer and did you not notice I angled it a little bit too? My god.

2.

Apply to jobs or internships that have to do with the career you hope to have. Maybe you can get a really good internship that will one day get you that job you’ve always wanted. Even if it’s not something you can get right now, wait for it. For example, I’d like to have the job of being Ryan Gosling’s wife, so every day I check online to see if he’s broken up with his girlfriend yet. Patience is a virtue.

3.

Learn every single word to yet another rap song so you can remind your friends why you aren’t a rapper but at the same time also show them how great your memorization skills are. Rapping is hard. If you can sing along to a very fast, lots-of-slang rap song, you will be proud of yourself. I swear.

4.

Do not hang around people who bring you down. You want to surround yourself with people who support you and motivate you to be the best you, you can be. Like Taylor Swift did. And if you can right a bomb album while you’re doing that, go for it.

5.

If you have free time, try to be somewhat productive. Get some work done or pay your bills or scream along to “Uptown Funk” until 4 in the morning hoping your neighbors are in a very deep sleep and cannot hear you.

6.

Eat healthier. Even if it’s just a little healthier. Cut something bad out of your diet that you typically have a lot. For me, that was soda. No more soda for me. I think what really helped was that drink, Zevia. It’s supposedly a healthy alternative to soda with no calories, so of course I tried it. And I hated it. It ruined soda for me. I haven’t had soda since.

7.

Work out. No you don’t have to join the soul cycle cult to get in shape. Just try to bring exercise into your daily routine. For instance, instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs. Instead of driving through the drive-thru, run through it. Instead of sleeping, go for a hike. Instead of hanging out with your friends, do 500 push ups. Okay, I think you get the point. Just be active blah blah blah. But, seriously.

8.

Meet new people. No, not on tinder. In the real world. So you might have to leave your apartment for this one, sorry. But this could be great! You never know who you’ll meet! So on that note, does anyone know where Ryan Gosling likes to hang out?

9.

Drink a lot of water. You’ll stay hydrated and keep up energy to do productive things or finish that Friends Marathon you started. (Because it’s on Netflix now!)

10.

Stop keeping up with the Kardashian’s. They just keep ‘taking over’ different cities and going on Vacations you’ve only dreamed of going on and it’s getting aggravating.

11.

Throw out clothes you do not wear anymore. I am the worst with this one. But we can do this. Together. Be honest. Will you ever really need that zebra print turtleneck you got 8 years ago?

12.

Try to go to bed earlier. That way you wake up earlier. Or just stay up late and wake up early. Or just don’t sleep. Go for a hike instead. But really, don’t sleep your days away!

13.

Make mini goals for the day that are so easy to accomplish that by the end of the day you had to have done them and then you can be proud of yourself. Like, “actually go to the mail room and check your mail.” Boom. Done.

14.

Keep the space you live in clean and organized, because your life will feel more clean and organized. If you don’t have a lot of cleaning products, just get the basics. You will need: A vacuum, a Swiffer, paper towels, disinfecting wipes, and some sort of cleaning spray that you can use with the paper towels you bought. Boom. Get cleaning.

15.

Love yourself. You’re great and perfect and unique and great in your own way so don’t try to be anyone else. Just feed your cats, follow your dreams, and never stop drinking coffee.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Renee